Feedback

The following came to me from Misha via facebook message (raw and unedited–except for one little part he asked me to alter) and, thankfully, he permitted me to post it here.

hey alex i think i need 2 respond 2 your journal posting 2 get it off my chest, even though i already have more or less- but now i feel as if i owe it 2 u.
1) i think that the way ure brain can articulate and grasp the things around us is amazing; one of the things that drive and drove me crazy through our trip and in regular life is how people walk around without even trying to understand the simple beauty and horror of what it is to be a breathing living being; i’m a artist, when i get inspired it just comes naturally 2 care, have opinions, reactions, on and on.
and i feel, that in this regard, u r the same. just by the way u live, act, and by looking at the photos.
2) sometimes it’s hard 4 me to not be black and white/ night and day/ when i feel very strongly about something- i feel very strongly about it, and usually i will let those around me know just that- especially when i feel comftarable (like with our group, with family, my close knit of friends).
when i read ure journal the first time i felt alot of different emotions; the first excitement that someone took the time to articulate their thoughts expressevely and with such care and beauty- 4 me i draw and rarely write if 2 just express my own emotions and what i am going thru- its like therapy. u r diffferent; u remind me of my american jewish step dad and his son who have an amazing grasp of the english language-u read what they write, what u write and it flows straight from the brain and to the heart. i read alot tho and always failed grammer
if u cannot already tell; what can i say, a lazy immigrant.

also, i think the 5 shekals were 4 water, since thats what itzik was charging everyone.

then i felt jubuliant that someone had a whole blog entry just 4 me- i’m an artist like i’ve stated, so naturally i sometimes have a conceited and narcissistic trait 2 me.
and i thought what u wrote genuine… true also 2 a point- don’t know if i found god but i felt something in that land that i never felt b4… just like i think u took away from that experiance more than say a lot of other people whose sole purpose it seemed at times was 2 just get high or drunk, or get some.
(c here i go again, i’m very black and white and if i dont have a reign on myself its like a constant channel of misha diaree)

but then i started 2 feel anger and resentment ( this is all the first time i read ure blog) at the way u took in the land and its struggles, again i have a tendency 2 b very black and white sometimes if i dont take the time to analyze my own reaction and understand where a person is coming from.
it felt as if u used the trip 2 justify your anti-zionist conceptions that u already had about the state of israel- and that made me furious, y i don’t know, nor do i feel like that now- just the initial shell shock of your journal.
i will b honest i did not snap my fingers at your last comment o the last night about knocking down the wall between israel and palestine.
still wouldn’t.
dont think that this is the place 4 me explain y, so i wont…

maybe one day if we meet 4 turkish coffee or vodka with pickles, but till that day…

some of the spiritually and politically motivated stuff i agreed with right away, lots of it actually- other stuff made me intensely angry… again as u saw ureself- i am not the most meek individual at times- humble but not meek.

but now i have re read ure blog i want to say 5 times over, because each time i want to see y a jew would feel that way towards a land that i personally feel very strongly is ours.

i showed it to my dad who is very conservative and like me very pro israel. and his reaction surprised me the next day more than anything… i was expecting him to react like me, with anger at certain passages, but instead he said 4 me to chill the fuck out, re read it and take it easy.
so i did, and maybe because its my dad, who the more i read your last passages reminded me of how he would have an outlook on things- in a very controlled scientific way because thats how he is- and i have strong respect 4 him and his brain, but the more i re read the blog, the more i understood if not agreed where it was that ure entries came from. (2 a point!)
and even if i dont agree with all the political ones, i have a more profound respect for ure brain and thought process and beliefs than fellow jews who might share a closer view point to mine but have no deep understanding of what it is that they r believing in.

so i am grateful 2 u and applaude u 4 sending it out 2 everyone… it takes balls 2 put ure thoughts out there…
but i will also say this- and this is more 4 if u and me have a discussion…
i came from the soviet union- i did not come from the russia that is the Russian Federation 2day.
it was an anti semetic state as much, if not as socially popular, as nazi germany. stalin and other soviet premiers killed more people than hitler X 5 i want to say. my great uncle died in a labor camp because he had an american journal on the enginerrring of roads- he acquired somehow during his university years, and some KGB snith ratted on him when him and fellow engineers were discussing it in contrast 2 soviet style road building.
4 me politics is a prostitute- the pimp is whoever has the money – this goes 4 any land, at any place of time, 4ever.
but i am grateful 4 an ice cream truck 2 have been there at the top of that hike because not only does it give that driver a means 2 make money (and check out a bunch of cute american booties) it gives us the option of purchasing ice cream or water if we are need of it.
i appreciate it more than the rest- not more than maybe yuri- because he came from belarus like me and he knows as do i that we lived and our parents and our grandparents in a perpetual state of defecit. my mother waited in line at the food bazaars for three hours 4 a loaf of bread with my 2 year old sister in one hand and me in her belly. not for a whole cart of groceries, but just 4 bread.
i say this not to preach but because i feel the same as u that all governments lie, all governments… but u did not live in the soviet union alex, so i feel that alot of our peers take highly 4 granted the freedoms that exist 4 us here 2day in america. where we get to openly criticize our president and government without fear of imprisonment 4 life or death. because even in the new russia 2day u cannot critize putin or his new puppet without somehow mysteriously taking a fall or dying!
i bought a mos def cd, his latest and he says a lot of liberal things, a lot anti bush things, and at the end of the day i wish he would take a sentence in his credits and say a big THANK U r living in america where he can say all this and make money. i think he should be able to say the opionons that he says becaue its part of our constitution, but i hate the fact that he takes it 4 granted as do a lot of raging liberals and people who r just comftarable with their lives and forget what it means to struggle and strive 4 something.

so i say this because i love this country 2 death… i do not love mother russia 2 death… i have no desire 2 go see the black sea, 2 go c moscow, st peresburg,
that country holds nothing 4 me other than the place of my birth and my accent, and 4 murdering my uncle in labor camps in siberia, and 4 not letting in my mother 2 the moscow institute of art because her SS card had a # and JUDEN written on it.
thats y i am not an anti zionist but pro israel…

i just thought that it was fair 4 me 2 share my own head blog like u shared ures and hope that after reading it a couple of times u can understand where i come from – cause i understand where u come from… it took me a couple of times to get to the point where i could understand, but i’m there and respect u that much more for it.
apologies for all the missspelling and distortion of the english language.
i do hope 4 an oppurtunity 2 talk life and death with u in person but until that day- shalom
(and post the pic with tzahi’s face behind rabins grave!)
your brother
misha

My response to Misha’s response:

Hi Misha,

Thanks for your heartfelt response. I read this message twice at my mother’s house, and she read it over my shoulder the second time, tearing up. She is a woman who has sacrificed much, and lived on little in her life, so that she could bequeath to her children a rosy future, and she found a kindred spirit in you. Though she does not know you, she suddenly–through the reading of one email–loves you like a distant mother, just as I love you like a distant brother.

No one can feel like those who suffer, and perhaps my life of relative privilege has sucked many of the “feelings” out of me, but it has not been able to tarnish what is a good and open heart. I was blessed with compassion; I seek wisdom; I pray for the courage–the employment of the third of these, without proper possession of the first two, is the cause of most of our world’s suffering. The freedom of my youth, for reasons I cannot know (perhaps guilt, though I like to call it compassion), has given rise to certain questions: Why am I comfortable while others suffer? Why can I find a good job when others cannot? Why do I have clean water when many do not? Where does money come from? Where is money going? What is the definition of “victory”? Why does the government need secrets? Why am I allowed to explore these questions while others–for their curiosity–are silenced, imprisoned, tortured or killed? Does ANYONE deserve such treatment, EVER?

I have become obsessed with trying to find the answers to such questions. This is why I spend almost all of my free time reading about political, scientific, and philosophical history. I did not gain my views by chance, but by careful searching within my own soul, combined with careful research into the history of things. When I read history, I prefer to read it (and almost always do) in the words of a person who actually lived it, and not someone who thinks they know what happened. I like to get every perspective. Actually, one of the books I am looking forward to starting soon is “The Gulag Archipelago”, which I understand is an amazing account of Russian totalitarianism.

My studies have led me to my current political ideology, and it is of course open to suggestions. If I did not want my political beliefs to be challenged, I would never read another book, and I would set fire to my library, but that would not be representative of the spirit of the freedoms we enjoy. If there is one document that I would call sacred, it would be the United States Constitution. I believe a wise man was right in calling the U.S. Constitution “the greatest exertion of human reason,” and I feel it is my duty to restore, preserve, protect, and defend that Constitution. I think it is the best way for us, as Americans, to end suffering at home as well as abroad.

I am planning on coming to Chicago some holiday weekend this summer, and you are certainly at the top of the list of people I would like to see. We may have that Turkish coffee after all. I have made so many unlikely friends as a result of Shorashim, and for that I will be forever grateful. Almost all of them, I have found, are remarkably insightful as well (forgive this generalization, but I think Jews tend to be very reflective). I feel like I could create a lengthy and interesting book from only the discussions I have had with our fellow travelers, and call it “Ten Days to Brotherhood” or something like that. It’s amazing how close we became in such a short period of time.

Wow, I did not plan on writing this much. Anyway, I will let you know when I am coming to Chicago.

Also, can I post your response on the journal’s site? I think everyone would appreciate seeing it if they decide to read over it again, with your permission of course.

Thanks, Mish. I will see you soon.
-Alex

Feedback from Henry:

Alex:

Though I think your reasoning rests on a foundation of theory and not reality, you make many well thought out points and your writing is a joy to read. Thanks.

Henry

My response to Henry:

Thanks Henry. We may accept the reality we’re given, or we may endeavor to change it.

Feedback from Yuri:

Hi Alex,

I’m currently reading your journal, and would like to make a few comments on it (on the last bits of course ):

1. “Holocaust Museum, Yad Vashem”: I totally agree with your view on the political situation in Germany on the eve of WWII. But you must remember that walking through the museum, we saw a process of deterioration in the status of Jews on one hand, but also the development (political and military) of the German Reich. This is one of the main differences between the old museum and the one we visited: the new one tries to follow the “trail of blood” that led to the holocaust. I agree though, that it is a very frightening thought indeed, of the power that governaments have over people.

2. “Shabbat at the spring/pool“: Your second paragraph is a frightening mistake which is common throughout the world, and was induced by arab and anti-israeli propoganda so deeply, that even the Israelis forgot all about it: I refer you to the map of the Partition plan, which is resolution 181 of UN, concerning the land of Palestine, from 1947.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fe/1947-UN-Partition-Plan-1949-Armistice-Comparison.png

This is a map of how UN distributed Israel between Israel and the arabs. Now look carefully who is supposed to get the Golan heights!

The common mistake, is that everyone thinks the Golan heights were a part of the Syrian nation, and we took over them by force. In fact, the Golan heights are part of Palestine, and actually belong to the jewish people. During the Independance War, Syrian forces CONQUERED(!) the Golan heights, because Israeli forces could not stretch themselves as far as the Golan. Then, in 1967, we took this territory BACK from the Syrians. Thus, in the end, this should not have even come up as an issue between Syria and Israel, because its not Syrian territory, but, alas, Israeli to begin with.

3. Judaism Discussion and events: What if you’re looking at it from the wrong direction? Israel was not born out of religious conciderations. You can see that by talking to any of the Orthodox Jews in the heart of Jerusalem. They would tell you that they do not believe in Israel as a state, because it was not founded by the Messiah, and thus they do not believe in Israeli governament (which is exactly your point of view). It is possible to think of Israel from another POV: Many times in history (including US history) did a nation rise to give independance for a large group of people. US wanted indepandance from the British Empire for example. Israel was founded as an offer of independance for all of the prosecuted Jews of the world. Not because of their religion, but because of their heritage. Fortunately for me, it has nothing to do with god, and has everything to do with the human nature that gave birth to Nuirenberg Laws… This is why I was surprised at the supreme courts decision, because the Law of Return is quite simple: If you’re a jew, you can get citizenship. The decision to change the law which followed supreme court’s ruling, was also a shock for me. The law was changed to include another test for citizenship: You also have to PRACTICE Jedaism. Practically, that means that I’m not eligible for citizenship, because I’m not religious… But I dont think that it is right. In my opinion, the jewish state is simply that: a state for all jews. Nothing more, nothing less. This opinion of mine should serve as a different base for all of your views, try reading the last parts of your journal again, with that belief in mind, and you will see quite a different picture, the one you are so willing to be true. The one of a nation not driven by religious hatred, but by the want of every human being to live humbly and safely. Unfortunately, our leaders do not go to Birthright trips, and it’s been a long time since they last tried to remind themselves of what Patriotism and love of Israel mean. This goes for the leaders on the “other side of the fence” too. If they were more concerned with the welfare of their people, they would be able to invest the millions of dollars that the israeli governamnet is giving them to make the people live better, and not to fund their military build up.

I will end with a quote by one of the best philosophers of our time:

“Peace on earth, and then to all” – Queen.

Think about it,

Yuri.

My response to Yuri:

Hi Yuri

Thanks for the clarification on the history of the Golan. I was confused by something Yossi had said while we were on Bental. We can always count on the Internet to correct our errors, and I will correct the journal entry tonight.

It seems we are on the same page. I am also not what would be called a “religious” person, but I do believe in God. The way I see it, nature, god, god’s nature, sciences, philosophy, and creation are all under the same umbrella–they have all bolstered arguments in favor of protecting natural rights. I think touched on this slightly in my journal when I said something like “the best way to know God (or creation) is through studying the sciences and philosophy.” As a scientist, I know you will understand this. I see God not as a dogmatic invisible man in the sky (the Bible is metaphorical, in my opinion), but as the original force that science cannot quite explain (this should not stop us from searching for explanation).

You and I both place the highest value on natural rights, so given the same facts, we will tend to agree on political issues. The differences between us, regarding Israel, are that you have more (and better) information than I do, and you also have a stake in the country itself. Aside from my concerns for your personal safety, and my concerns for the well-being of all humans, I have no attachment to the country. I think we share the same beliefs from different perspectives.

As for Yad Vashem, we may have had a guide that was not the best at explaining the political events of Germany. Also, I may have been prejudging because I have read so much about German history, and perhaps expected the guide to know more than he is required to know. I wish we could have spent more time at Yad Vashem (without the guide), so that we might have had discussions with one another.

I know I was harsh in some of my views toward Israel, but in order to progress in the right direction, it is important that errors are brightly lit and magnified. From the perspective of the United States, where we have been lucky to have great peace and cooperation between a variety of different people with different beliefs, it is easy to judge. It is impossible for me to put myself in the mindset of an Israeli, but I have studied political and economic history extensively, repressing prejudice as much as possible along the way, and I believe I know what works and what does not work. Freedom works. Of all the principles of government, the protection of natural rights, both political and economic–respecting life, liberty, and property–is the only principle that I can say is definitely good. What the U.S. calls its Bill of Rights is, in my opinion, the best limitation on government ever proposed, and I wish the U.S. would follow it stringently.

I know I am “preaching to the choir” in this email, but I sincerely hope you will, in your time, follow your good heart and balanced mind into politics, and try to help form constitutional freedom, lasting peace, and prosperity in your country. The only reason you do not like politics is because Israel’s politics are insane, while you, Yuri, are quite sane. You should bring that sanity to the place it is most needed–the Knesset. He who uses nature as his guide seldom loses his argument; I think you will be surprised by how many people will side with you on political issues.

When you are done being a soldier, I hope you will visit the United States. You have a hospitable friend here in me.

Before I end this email, I promised that I would give you reading suggestions. When you have finished the following, let me know what you think: The Road to Serfdom by F.A. Hayek. If it bores you, let me know, and I will give you another.

Sincerely,

Alex

Feedback from Ashley:

Alex,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us. I always appreciate the opportunity to see the world from another’s perspective. Your writing is thoughtful and interesting.

Feedback from Dasha:

Wow I’ve just re-lived the trip once again through your perspective. Very well written, Alex. Thank you for sharing your journal with me.

Feedback from Lauren:

Alex!! I just read your journal and was hysterically laughing at some parts (namely thanks for the balsnaks dedication hahaa and the mischa part I was hysterical!) But mainly you are a fantastic writer and it was cool to see all your thoughts on the trip and it helped me remember some of the parts I was too exhausted to form in depth opinions about haha. Hope you come to the Chi soon so we can all reunite!